When I first got to Austria I thought that the Austrians would be rude, especially compared with Tennessee folk, but, surprisingly, this has not been the case. The Austrians have been upstanding, respectful, funny and nice… the people you have to worry about are the Britons.
Now don't get me wrong. I like British people. I have many (two) British friends. But theres a whole group of them in tonight for a wedding tomorrow at the Schloss and, boy, they are ill-mannered.
Last night several of them arrived and checked into their rooms. Now, usually I hang out in the Meierhof cafe, to eat dinner, talk to the reception workers and the other interns, and basically socialize. When it's raining outside there's not much else you can do. Well, last night a couple of us were finishing up dinner when the entire city of Edinburgh came trouncing down the stairs, bursting belligerently into the Cafe.
"Good God," one said, sweating profusely. "There has to be some way to cool down the rooms."
Christina (receptionist) smiled politely.
"There's fans in every room, and the windows open, but there's not much else we can do," she explained.
"PFFT." said the man. "We've tried all that. It's still too hot."
Christina shrugged, simultaneously unable to assuage his discomfort or speak enough english to be witty about a reply.
"Well," sighed the man, "I'll have one cold beer. Do you understand? Einne bier."
Christina pours the man a beer. He takes a large, greedy gulp.
"This," he gasps, "…is not nearly cold enough. Don't you have any colder?!"
Christina draws a breath. I pray that she is about to tell the man, sarcastically, that there are no refrigerators in Lower Europe. But he interrupts.
"It will do, I suppose." He surveys the Cafe, which is now occupied with about 40 thirsty and impolite Scotsmen. "Have a beer?" he says to no one in particular.
"Oh, yes, well, thank you, that'd be lovely, splendid," I hear murmered across the room. "…make it cold!"
…poor Christina could do nothing except stand there and accept the berating criticisms of these oppresive Brits. The part where I left to go upstairs to my room came shortly after my friend Max asked, kindly, the guest sitting next to him how it felt to be an Englishman in Austria.
"AN ENGLISHMAN?!" the man roared, reeking of beer. "I am SCOTTISH."
His nose raised, the man slammed his glass down and staggered to his feet, actually making the "Humph" noise that we all associate with snobbish Victorian women as he shot up from his stool.
Max turned, horrified. Under his breath came a curse:
"Britons."
- Jamion
